The sound of silence yields isolation; responses resonate

It was May 2009. I was working for a consulting firm and business was terrible. Every day I reached out to clients and contacts. While my optimistic hope was to land some new business, I would have been happy just to have a friendly conversation. But the silence was deafening. It was so lonely and frustrating. As I said to one of my colleagues, “I feel as if I’m invisible.”

We are once again in a time when many people are feeling isolated. Article after article in the popular press talks about the epidemic of loneliness and alienation. My opinion is that human beings are not wired to sit alone at computers all day, but I know that’s the work reality for many people. 

Connections come when we respond

There is an effective way to mitigate this crisis. RESPOND! I don’t mean we have to reply to every message we receive.

Early in the pandemic I tried to do that. When I got an irrelevant marketing email, I would send back a note saying, “I don’t require your service/product, but I wish you much success.” However, the deluge of unwanted marketing messages has made it impossible to continue this kind practice. But there are two situations when a response can be especially effective in creating connection.

First, respond with enthusiastic support when a friend or colleague tells you about something they are doing, especially if it benefits you

Here’s a recent example: I’m organizing an in-person event for 30 colleagues this summer. It’s a complicated and time-consuming project. I recently sent an update about the planning. Twenty-nine people were silent, but when I opened up my mail this morning, one person had sent this message: “Awesome news. Thank you so much for working on this. Gonna be a blast.”

This kind of response has two results. It lifts the receiver’s spirits and makes them feel heard and appreciated. And it makes the receiver really like the sender and want to have more contact with that person. 

Second, respond with sympathy and concern when you hear bad news that might affect a friend or colleague.

I live in Chicago, but one of my sons lives in LA. I was really touched by the number of colleagues who took the time to reach out and ask about his safety. They were not always the people I am closest to, but they are certainly people I appreciate and want to stay in contact with.

A quick, kind gesture goes a long way

These kinds of responses take almost no time to send. They do take some thought and consideration. They are a very powerful antidote to the loneliness epidemic, and they are smart business practices because they build lasting and meaningful connections. 

If you’d like to learn more about how to nurture a responsive communication style, contact me at ggolden@gailgoldenoconsulting.com.