Think business coaches shouldn’t give advice? Think again

Many of my coaching colleagues hold the opinion that coaches shouldn’t give advice — we should only listen, ask questions, and summarize. If you google, “Should coaches give advice?” you’ll find that most articles discourage it.

The International Coaching Federation, a well-respected coaching certification organization, says, “Although a coach might do some teaching or offer advice, doing so is not a coach's primary purpose. A coach should act as an explorer of the client's perspective. The ICF is big on coaches being an empty vessel, merely exploring the client's world, provoking insights through curiosity, not advice-giving.”

Good coaches, backed by experience, offer insights

I think they are wrong. Full disclosure — I have not been through a coaching certification program. With my Ph.D. in clinical psychology, 20-plus years of experience as a therapist, an MBA, two successful startups, and another 20-plus years of coaching and consulting experience, I’m confident I am fully qualified to be an executive coach.

I am puzzled about this aversion to offering advice to our coaching clients. We are coaches, after all.  Does an athletic coach ask the athlete, “What is your feeling/opinion about how to swing your racket?”  Nope, he tells them how to do it. Does a music coach ask the violinist, “What’s your favorite way to hold the bow?” Nope, she insists that the violinist uses the optimal bow grip. As experienced executive coaches, we have seen enough business leaders in action to know what works and what doesn’t work — just like our colleagues in other fields.

Coaching and advising with goals in mind

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not suggesting that coaches should just be fountains of advice. But neither should we try to be nondirective therapists. Coaching is about helping our clients reach specific performance goals. Our job is to figure out what kind of help will be most useful to our client today. Sometimes that’s a listening ear. Sometimes it’s a probing question. Sometimes it’s an insightful summary. And sometimes it’s clear advice.

Of course, our clients don’t always take our advice. That’s OK. They’re mature adults who can weigh their best course of action and proceed accordingly. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t offer our perspective. 

Suggestions and tools for specific situations

My clients sometimes contact me when they are facing a specific challenge — a high-stakes board meeting, a difficult confrontation, a high-visibility presentation. We clarify what success will look like. Then together we strategize how they can best handle that challenge — both how to manage their anxiety (see my video) and how to navigate the challenge.

I may suggest specific wording. For example, when dealing with conflict, one of my favorite phrases is, “I’m confused.” It helps to open the discussion without putting the other person on the defensive. 

Our value as coaches lies in helping our clients by utilizing as many tools as we can. One of those tools is sound advice. It’s a pity not to use it.

If you or your organization could benefit from my approach to executive coaching, please feel free to contact me.