Positive interactions pave path to peace—at work, home, worldwide

When I was a therapist, I often heard my clients say, “This is the worst I have ever felt.” I knew this was not objectively true. They had felt equally lousy many times in the past. But this was their reality and I needed to hear it and provide the care that would help them.

As I look at the condition of our world right now, I find myself thinking like those clients: “This is the worst it has ever been.” Once again, I know this is not objectively true. There have been times in history, including quite recently, when things were much worse than they are now. But it sure does feel as if the world is in horrible shape. 

Technical article gets to the heart of the matter

I was heartened to come across an article from the October 2021 issue of American Psychologist, “How to Live in Peace? Mapping the Science of Sustaining Peace: A Progress Report.” It is a long and technical article, but a paragraph near the end caught my eye:

“… we are learning that although sustainable peacefulness takes many forms and is highly complex and idiosyncratic, it can be understood, studied and modeled in very basic terms: as a high ratio of positive intergroup reciprocity to negative intergroup reciprocity that is stable over time.”

Marriage advice translates to business life

I was immediately reminded of John Gottman’s research on what makes marriages work. The “Gottman ratio” for a happy marriage is five positive interactions to every one negative interaction. And as I wrote in a previous blog post, that same ratio differentiates high-performing business teams from mid- and low-performing teams. 

Fascinating, as Mr. Spock would say. Engaging in many more positive than negative interpersonal interactions leads to happy marriages, high-performing business teams and sustainable peace between nations. It sounds as if it’s a fundamental principle for how humans succeed.

Interested in exploring this and other principles for successful business teams and leaders? Please contact me at ggolden@gailgoldenconsulting.com.